I spend most of my time on the internet on facebook. I’m on it right now. Pretty much if I’m on the internet doing anything, I have facebook open in another window. It’s devastating to my productivity levels. I also often click on ‘appear offline’…. and occasionally this reason is to make people think I’m on facebook less than I am. I am not proud of any of these things, but they are facts.
There are features on facebook called ‘fanpages’ and ‘groups’. Most are moronic or promotions for businesses. Some, however, are fantastic. As you can probably tell if you’ve read a single one of these posts, it’s usually the funny ones that get me, however the clever ones or astute ones also get me. In particular, the ones that reflect what I think but I didn’t realise there are some other twisted souls out there with similar outlooks on life/philosophies/mental imbalances/fetishes. I’m going to take you through some of the cream of the crop of each of these. It’s up to you if you ‘join’ or ‘like’…. but I’d recommend it.
As some one who has spent approximately 20 years of their life living on a farm, I think it’s fair to say that animals have played and continue to play a fairly significant role in my life. They continue to do so, but in a number of different ways.
It is at this stage of this article that I would like to make it categorically clear that not only am I an animal lover, but I object to unnecessarily cruel treatment of animals. I’m not a vegetarian, but I think it’s fair to say that I believe that animals should with dignity and respect.
It is stage of the article, that I shoot my credibility on this issue to pieces. When it comes to animals on the internet, I shockingly pretty much view them exclusively as forms of entertainment, and while I certainly object to seeing them harmed unnecessarily, I have no qualms whatsoever with animals being put in situations that are disrespectful and frankly humiliating.
I am not proud of this. In fact, I’m more than a little ashamed. I do not pretend that I can justify this on any moral grounds, other than one of pure self-interest.
However, I do question whether this is so wrong of me? I will let you, my two readers, decide. The following are examples of animals on the internet which could at worst be perceived as being treated cruelly, and at best perceived as unusually.
I lay myself at the mercy of the court.
Pictures:
And the following two camel-related videos, that deliver exactly what they promise:
OK, so I think I’ve successfully convinced my last remaining readers to never read again, and so I’m pretty much just writing this to myself. Anyway, I’ve decided to leave on a note that I feel would make anyone smile:
It’s fair to say that I don’t give 4chan the most glowing or endorsements on this website. Whilst not saying it in so many words, I have attempted to portray the site like how it is described on urban dictionary:
‘A meeting place and breeding site for the utter dregs of humanity. A festering polyp in the dieing colon of society.’
‘The sphincter of the internet. Where integrity goes to die.’
‘An image board in which jaded and cynical internet users compete to see who can be the biggest asshole. ‘
‘If you’ve ever seen something on the Internet that made you contemplate suicide , it probably came from 4chan–and even if it didn’t, you can be sure someone posted it there at some point… and people there LIKED it.’
‘The most fucked up, pedophile-infested website on the internet.’
There is a lot to dislike about 4chan, and I’m very clearly not the only one who feels that way. In it’s simplest form, 4chan is a image board on the internet in which users can post with anonymity. It’s a pretty big deal, as it gets over 700,000(!) posts a day. It was designed for users to discuss anime and Japanese cartoons/comics, and appears to be pretty much as close to unregulated as a site can be. In particular, the random board, or “/b/”, is notorious for being rife with images of child pornogarhy, gore images and just general stupidity. And when I saw stupidity, I mean real stupidity. It is not clever or funny.
Users, or /b/tards as they affectionately refer to themselves, seem to have a mixed view of themselves. Some seem to see themselves as ‘Anonymous’, which refers to the actions of many online users acting anonymously towards a common goal. This has resulted in outcomes attacks on epilepsy websites designed to cause seizures and migraines in those suffering from the disease to the tracking down of information that led to charges being laid against those who had committed cruelty to animals. Anonymous has also organized worldwide protests against Scientology and hijacked a poll on a Justin Bieber webpage to see that the young star’s next tour would be to North Korea.
So it is clear that 4chan is made up of number of very different people who see themselves in different ways. It would seem that some see themselves as:
While others see themselves as:
While the rest of us sort of see it as:
The main criticism of 4chan is that it pretty much takes what is wrong with being anonymous, and takes the problem of unaccountability and runs with it. REALLY runs with it. The most obvious problem is that is known to host pedophiles and share child pornography, but to say that there is nothing else wrong with the site would b to be too kind to it. I am going to do something now that I never thought that I would do on this blog, and that’s link you to the /b/ board of 4chan. Now, I am also warning you that those who are easily offended should not follow this link, and those of you aren’t probably shouldn’t follow it either. The point of me linking this is to illustrate to you how offensive this site is. Simply stroll from the top of the page down to the bottom. If you are not in anyway offended, press reload. Do this on the minute for the next 5 minutes. If you don’t get offended you are either very lucky, or have a far tougher disposition than pretty much everyone. DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK IF YOU ARE AT WORK OR HAVE CHILDREN IN THE ROOM WITH YOU.
So I’ve pretty much outlined why I despise 4chan and it’s anonymity, but I feel that I should point out why it is not ALL bad.
Essentially, anonymity offers free speech. You can literally say or post anything.he argument goes that what is right and what is wrong is subjective and in the eye of the beholder, and so refusing to allow something to become public based on someone’s else’s opinion is problematic because they cannot tell any better than anyone else what is right. Social norms are fluid, and regulating these by refusing to allow people to discuss and reconsider them would prevent them from changing.
A second argument is that by allowing people to post things anonymously, we allow them to do so without repercussion. This means that by posting whatever they want, they can question whatever that they want. The ability to question, scrutinize and discuss matters in a public forum is a liberal notion, and one that unquestionably leads to positive outcomes for society. The hope is that by taking the bad, such as bullying and goreporn, with the good, such as genuine discussion of social matters, that society will be better off for it.
Finally, I should point out that I should point out that it is wrong of me to tar all 4chan users with the same brush. Clearly, they are not all unbalanced people who are intent on doing evil. Some are, but I would hazard a guess that the vast majority are not. After all, they did do this. Here are pictures from the event.
The internet has unquestionably had an enormous effect upon the way we live our lives. Even a disestablishmentarianist such as myself wastes far more time than I can really justify on the web, much to the mirth of all you antidisestablishmentarianists out there (I have waited so long to write that sentence… I feel that I should have ticked something off my lifelong to-do list).
But what if the internet was to have never occurred? What would life have been like? I wonder…
Internet memes. For the uninitiated, internet memes are usually a confusing, unfunny and often offensive thing. To the initiated, internet memes are usually a confusing, unfunny and often offensive thing.
Internet memes are essentially things (such as a picture, video or even as something as abstract as an idea) that spread across the internet at great speed. And that ladies and gentleman, is what a meme is in its simplest terms. There is nothing intrinsically good or bad about a meme, just like there is nothing good or bad about any form of expression, such as art or music.
Some of the more famous memes to have spread around the internet include:
Lolcats
Demotivators
Success Kid
SFW Porn
Socially Awkward Penguin
There have also been a number of very successful video memes:
There are also a whole raft of other forms of memes out there as well, such as musical, advertising and e-mail.
Most forms of expression however, such as music or art, are created with the intention of existing in the real tangible world, as opposed to simply residing in cyber-space. Internet memes on the whole are intended almost exclusively for a internet audience, we’re as I’ve outlined previously, there is almost no form of regulation or censorship. This means that amongst the harmless memes out there exists a subsection of truly awful meme that have spread around the internet. These include Goatse, Bluewaffle, Lemon Party and Two Girls, One Cup. These are decidedly uncool, and I shall be not linking them to my blog, nor will I be recommending anyone search for them. To emphasize my point, below is a number of reaction videos to Two Girls, One Cup. So bad is this video, that the reaction videos in themselves became a meme. You tube has thousands of these, and these I would recommend watching.
First, a group of 5 every dayguys try watch the video:
Secondly, a group of 5 battle-hardened Marines from the United States Marines attempt to watch it:
Thirdly, Ron Jeremy attempts to watch the film. For those who don’t know, Ron Jeremy is rated by Adult Video News (which the New York times says is to pornography what Billboard is to records) as the number one adult film star of all time and has starred in over 2,000(!) adult films. I think that it goes without saying that this is a man who has seen some messed up stuff. This is his reaction:
There you have it. So horrible is this meme that a man who has been in literally thousands of films that would make Chuck Norris himself blush in horror whilst watching was unable to watch it in it’s entirety. This is one god awful meme.
The final video is of mankind’s most overly qualified individual to watch this clip… Bear Grylls. For those of you who don’t know him, for shame. He is the star of a television program called ‘Man vs Wild’, and has done a range of disgusting things such as drinking urine saved in a rattlesnake’s skin, utilized a decomposing sheep’s skin as a sleeping bag and drank the liquid from elephant dung. Surely he could withstand such a video?
Unfortunately, I have reached the limit for the amount of videos that one can have in an article of a wordpress blog, so to see the video you will have to click here, but I warn you…. it’s not pretty.
And that, ladies and gentleman, is why memes suck.
I’ve decided that for the first time I am going to actually feature in my blog something that is actually relevant to my course: advertising products through the use of online videos. And so, I’ve decided that I am going to compile a top 10 of my favorite commercial videos.
All of these commercials are available on the internet, however they are also available on other mediums such as television. I also only chose to feature a maximum of one commercial per company, of this would have been made up almost exclusive of Old Spice and Playstation commercials. Behold:
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.
I know, contentious right? Not having Old Spice number one? Who does this guy think he is?! Again, for those of you who are unhappy with this decision, I direct you to one of my many sorry faces:
OK folks, this is my first non-rambling and/or musing post. I’m someone who has seen many videos on the internet, whether they fall under the character of TV show, animal documentary, comedy clip, or um…. ‘other’. Recreational pursuits aside, this clip was introduced to me by my accounting lecturer on Friday, and I have fallen completely and utterly in love with it.
Whilst I realize that I have done probably the least persuasive job selling a video clip ever, I cannot emphasize just how much you should watch this clip. Not only will you be a better person and look better naked as a result of watching this, you may even become taller.
I would also like to add that I don’t even like the Black Eyed Peas, yet this blows my mind every time that I watch it.
It’s been a while since my last post, and since then I’ve had a lot of time to think about my next post. Obviously though, that isn’t always possible, and so I’ve decided to write my next entry about something I have NOT spent a good proportion of my time NOT doing: stealing stuff online. For those of you who are already getting sick of me using the word NOT; that’s too bad, because I’m going to continue doing it unless I too get tired of it before the end of the post. Which is NOT unlikely.
Now, I feel that I should point out from the outset that I am no expert at NOT NOT stealing stuff online. In fact, I would say that I’m pretty bad at it, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be something I get a lot out of. Fortunately, the people who have made this possible have recognized that techno-tards like myself want in on the feeding frenzy that is online theft.
My computer features on it some 82 Gigabytes of files that is NOT NOT comprised primarily of music, film and TV shows that I have NOT NOT obtained illegally from the internet.
My understanding, and I do use the term loosely, is that the history of Peer-to-Peer networks (read: stealing stuff) essentially began in the late nineties with a little site called Napster:
Napster: Original Gangster
Napster allowed users to download whatever they wanted without charge from other users. As the internet was in a relatively primitive stage and internet speeds were such that the majority of files that were ‘shared’ were music files. For a brief period, the internet was bliss, until a bunch of people such as this guy made some of the least rock-star moves in history and decided that people should have to pay $30 for a 40-minute CD that cost $2 to produce. I should probably also mention that the Record Industry Association of America played a pretty major roll in this. This bless ended on February 12th 2001, when a decision by the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit ruled that the company could be found liable for breaching the copyright of the original creators of the files that it was sharing. I understand that this had the following effect on the internet:
The internet however, was not prepared to give up quite as easily as that. Many users of Napster simply moved on to other P2P sites, such as this one:
Believe it or not, I have actually been to this site when it was legal to do so.
The RIAA proceeded to launch legal action against Kazaa and a host of other P2P sites, but was unsuccessful. It should be noted that Kazaa was found to be in breach of copyright by the Australian Federal Court, however this was obviously not binding over the areas that music industry was most concerned about, namely the US, Europe and Asia.
The ‘man’ then decided that it would take direct legal action against the down loaders of their material from these P2P sites. The internet, taken aback by the fact that they could now personally get smoked for doing what they considered to pretty much be a victimless crime up until this point, was now like:
The Internet
A decision was made by the king of the internet to lead his people away from the place of persecution that they were in to a new land, ala Moses and the Israelites. This took the form of internet users leaving the original P2Ps and moving to bit torrents. Actually, a funnier analogy that I should have used would have been to use Bram Cohen (creator of Bit Torrent) as the Gandalf, the RIAA as Sauron and the followship of the ring as internet users.
You have my sword....
Also, as someone who has only seen the first Lord of the Rings 6 years ago, I would like to point out how much research went into that joke. My flatmate however assures me it is funny, so I guess I’m going to have to take his word on that one.
Torrent based websites allow users to download files by downloading small pieces from many different sources simultaneously. The more sources of the file, the quicker it is for others to download. Users of the site are encouraged to provide their own content for others to share through the provision of faster download times and those who do are known as ‘seeds’, while ‘leeches’, those who simply download but don’t provide anything for others of their own, are punished with slower download speeds.
The Internet Awaits the Imminent Uploading of the Latest Episode of Entourage.
The files come directly from other users, but it is much harder for regulators to track the source of information due to a lack of central database for the files (or something). It is worth noting that this is my no means more legal than previous P2P networks, however it is is extremely difficult for authorities to track you down.
Too soon?
Copyright regulators and lobby groups from film and record groups the world over are certainly not content with the present situation, and inevitably they will be successful in further legal reform in the future that will see a crackdown on torrent sites. However, it is also apparent that the internet will simply adapt to this and find another temporary way of providing these files for free. If the effect of this is as devastating on these companies as they make it out to be, then I guess they will fold. However, the reality is the majority of these companies, who have been charging outrageous prices for their products for years, will continue but in a less profitable capacity. And to those groups, I say this.
Ok, I’ve decided that it’s time to finally bite the bullet and write about something on the internet that I like. I know what my devoted two readers are thinking:
‘…but Tom, we love your hate-filled, mean-spirited, vile diatribe. It makes us feel better about ourselves, picturing you hunched over your laptop in a dingy little apartment, foaming at the mouth as you proceed to deride people who use Yahoo or some other such frivolous, irrelevant bullshit.’
To that, I would first like to thank-you all, however I can assure you that by next week I will have again found something to hate-on about the internet. Be patient, my pretties. I am also painfully aware that I am beginning to come across as a little like this.
What I have decided to do in the meantime is create a list of my favorite websites. I’m a guy who like to laugh, so if there’s a problem with this, you should probably bail out now. Here goes:
What it is: Bartender is the personal blog of comedy writer Dan O’Brien. I was first drawn to this site after reading some of his other work, and stumbled upon his e-book called Bartender. I strongly urge anyone who has the time to sit down and read it. It is without question the funniest, longest piece that I have read on the internet and you will definitely become a better person for having read it.
You’ll also be able to do as I do and pass off some of the jokes as your own, as very few others have read it. The blog itself is not as funny as the story, and for that reason alone this doesn’t feature higher in this list.
What it is: Hyperbole and a half is the blog of a young woman by the name of Allie. She is unemployed and lives with her boyfriend. She is also a very talented artist and outright hilarious. She could update a bit more frequently, but so elite are her posts that I am willing to overlook any flaws.
What it is: PG-Porn is section of filmmaker James Gunn’s personal webpage. It is essentially a series of short clips that are stereotypical scenes from the porn industry, but do not actually culminate in any form of sexual activity. It’s also hilarious.
What it is: The Onion is probably on of the most well known comedy sites on the internet. It parodies a media website, and provides videos, articles and radio. It also provides an unreasonable amount of laughs, and I highly recommend checking it out.
What it is: Badass of the Week is a blog by 30 year-old Ben Thompson. Every week for the past 5 years he has made an entry dedicated to someone he deems to be particularly ‘badass’. He researches every entrant, and there have been some notable entrants. Some of my personal favourites include the entrants he has made for Wolf the Quarrelsome, The Honey Badger and Bear Grylls.
Ok, when I started this blog I had every intention of beginning with a rambling then following it up with a musing, then back to a rambling, then again back to a musing, and so on in that fashion until I run out of things to ramble and/or muse about. However, that has not happened. I am going to again be rambling this week, possibly next week as well, and for that I’m sorry.
This is my 'sorry' face.
Now, the awful bit:
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” — Marilyn Monroe
An otherwise modest lady.
This is the title of a fan page I found on facebook here. And here. And here. In fact, when I entered this phrase into facebook search I got 59 fanpages and about 30 groups, with a total number of around 1,000,000 people who had joined these pages/groups. The first one I linked you to alone had 931, 079 as of 11.16pm Wednesday, which unfortunately included 7 of my friends.
You know who you are.
This quote is probably one of the things that I should have mentioned in my last post when I was naming the things about the internet that I hate. This quote seems to have taken facebook by storm lately, particularly amongst young women (I base this shocking generalization entirely on the fact that all seven of my friends that are a fan of this page are indeed young women). And I don’t like it one bit.
I hate this quote for a number or reasons. I hate the pretentiousness of it. I hate the sense of self-entitlement that it smacks of. I hate that implies that the person who is saying the quote is such a wonderful person at their best that it completely absolves them of any responsibility for their actions when they are at their worst. I also don’t like the use of the word ‘hell’ in there… gives the whole quote an unneeded aggressive edge.
What I hate most about the quote is the number of people (including 7 of my friends) who identify with this quote and have somehow obtained the belief that it also applies to them. I genuinely considered de-friending each and every one of them after it became apparent they identified with this quote, but it turned out that a few of them I definitely needed to remain friends with and then I would have felt mean defriending the others. But the point is that I considered it, no matter how fleetingly.
I also genuinely considered creating a few fanpages of my own to parody this one. A couple that came to mind were:
“I’m old fashioned, smell funny and I have questionable views towards foreigners and aboriginals. I get unreasonably annoyed when my team loses football, and I’m probably going to vote for Tony Abbott. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you certainly don’t deserve me at my best” – My dad.
Which I thought was actually OK, because my dad is awesome at his best. I would probably even ‘become a fan’ if I saw that on facebook. Time to step it up a notch:
“I’m in desperate need of a bath, start fights for no reason and have no qualms eating all of your food without your permission. I’m prone to parasites, will destroy your relationships with your neighbors and will/have defecated inside your home. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you certainly don’t deserve me at my best” – My dog.
Getting closer, but still not quite there:
“I’m crazy, put my kids at incredible risk without reason and am probably more vain than anyone you ever have or will meet. I’ve had serious drug issues in the past, and in all likelihood engaged in inappropriate acts with a number of children. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you certainly don’t deserve me at my best” – Michael Jackson.
I don’t think I should take it any further. My point is that to simply state that if someone wants you when you’re at your best that they must therefore tolerate you at your worst is a fallacy; it completely absolves the person making the statement of any consequences for their actions and it smacks of arrogance.
While others see themselves as:
Tom's Ramblings and Musings 